The Last Time
by samarie
Summary: Jo swore this would be the last time.


Title: The Last Time  
>Rating: T, to be safe<br>Summary: Jo swore this would be the last time.  
>Disclaimer: Not mine, sadly. If syfy wants to share, I won't argue. ;-)<p>

A/N: First Eureka fic, the idea just popped into my head, so I went with it. Wrote it rather quickly, and not beta-ed, so all mistakes and madness are mine. Hope you enjoy...

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><p>The last time, she swears, this will be this time. She has to stop, it's not fair, not to either of them, to continue this charade.<p>

She repeats the speech in her head, over and over, as she watches him drift to sleep. They had tumbled into his bed earlier in the evening, after everyone was cleared from the effects of Beverly's attack. She had been so relieved to see him in the infirmary that she wasn't able to resist his request to accompany him home.

She'd followed him home, not wanting to rely on him for a ride back to GD later. Once there, they'd come together quickly, both assuring the other they were alive and safe after the day's ordeal. Their lovemaking had been full of passion, and afterwards, Jo was left more hurting than ever. Zane, her Zane, had never loved her like that. Sure, they'd had plenty of passion and romance, but they'd never had that absolute need to be together for reassurance like she just had with this new Zane.

She let out a frustrated sigh and glanced back at the man in question. They were so alike, similar in almost every way. But she could still see the differences, and they were making her crazy. She kept telling herself that they were too different, and it would never work. She loved her Zane, and he was gone forever. This man beside her would never love her, never care enough for her to propose. She was almost grateful sometimes that she hadn't answered him, that she hadn't said yes. If she had, she would be mourning a fiancee instead of just a boyfriend. Then she thought of what she'd told this Zane, thinking he was her illusion. She said it would never work. Was she telling the truth, was she just trying to fool herself, and him?

She'd had these thoughts repeatedly for months, each time she was in this situation. Each time, she swore it would be the last, but she kept coming back. _I must be insane!_ She thought with a groan. She started to get up, to leave before she made herself more crazy, but was stopped by him.

Zane rolled over in his sleep, reaching out for her. Just before she was able to move, his arm came up to pull her closer to him. She gave in, letting him guide her back to be flush against his body. She cursed her own body for reacting, for feeling so good while he held her. _Just sex, that's all this is. Just getting him out of my system, and proving to him that we would never be anything more. _She was pulled out of her thoughts by his lips brushing against her neck, his hand slowly trailing down her arm. She let out an involuntary moan, then tried to pull away. She had to stop this, they weren't going there again. She moved his arm off hers, and started to slide out of bed before he could stop her.

"Stay."

"No." She said this firmly, moving to begin searching for her clothes.

"Jo-Jo." He said quietly, forcing her to turn and look at him.

"I can't," She replied, hating the lack of resolve her voice held.

"Why do keep fighting this?"

"We've been over this, it doesn't mean anything. Not to you, not to me. And it's not going to happen again."

"What if it does?" He questioned, watching her intently.

"Does what?" She asked, confused.

"Mean something. To me."

"It doesn't. It can't." Jo replied before she could stop herself. She mentally cursed herself and turned again to began her clothing search.

"Why not?" Zane got up from the bed, moving to sit on the edge to watch her. She refused to answer so he tried again. "Why not, Jo?"

"It just can't!" She shouted, unable to control herself. The tears began to slide down her face, and she swiped them away angrily.

Zane jumped up, and crossed the room to stand in front of Jo. She tried to turn but he grabbed her shoulders and made her face him. "Please, just talk to me. I don't understand why you keep doing this. I care about you, and I thought you knew that."

"That's the problem," she admitted, finally accepting that they had to face this, that she had to have this conversation. "You can't. This wasn't supposed to happen. We were supposed to have sex, and then be done. I'd finally see you weren't him, and you would give up, realizing that you didn't really want me. Then we'd both be free."

"I don't understand."

"I can't do this!" She cried, pulling out of his embrace. "It's too hard. I can't, I'm sorry." She yanked on her clothes quickly, and ran for the door. He beat her too it, blocking her path. "Please, just let me go."

"No, not until you help me understand. I can't figure out why you're fighting this so hard. You care about me, whether you want to admit it or not."

"That's what's wrong. That's why I'm fighting, why I have to stop this now, before I..." she trailed off, the tears pricking her eyes again. She brushed them away, and turned to sit on the bed, covering her face with her hands.

Zane moved closer, crouching down in front of her. This side of Jo was new to him, and he didn't know how to handle it. He felt bad for making her cry, but he couldn't stand the frustration anymore. "Before?" He questioned, reaching out to pull her hands down.

"Before I fall completely in love with you. Before you realize that I mean something to you too. If we stop before that happens, then it won't hurt as much. We can end it now, and it'll be fine. I won't have to go through the pain of losing you again." Her voice cracked as she finished, and she let out a sob. "I can't do it, I just can't."

Zane's eyes widened as he took in her words. _I'm so stupid! I can't believe I didn't think of that. She already lost the man she loves, and then got him back in some horrible twist. _"Jo, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking."

She just shook her head, shoving his hand off her. "Jo-Jo, please." The nickname caused her to sob again, her emotions taking control. "Please, don't cry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you so much. I just needed to know."

"Not the answer you were looking for?" she whispered sarcastically.

He ignored the jab, knowing this was his fault, but hoping he had a way to fix it. "No, not really. I was picturing this going a lot differently in my head. My version had less crying, and more kissing." He teased, trying to lighten the mood.

She let out a small snort of laughter. "Yea, I bet it did. Sorry to disappoint you."

"You could never do that, Jo."

"How do you know? How do you know that this wouldn't just end horribly, leaving us both more miserable?"

"I don't," he admitted. She smiled, hoping to win this argument and end things. "But that doesn't mean I don't want to try."

She looked at him in shock, tears still flowing freely down her face. "Why? Why would you want to be with me. I, she, made your life miserable. We have nothing in common, we're always fighting-"  
>Her arguments were cut off by Zane pressing his mouth to hers. He pulled her down to the ground to sit on his lap, kissing her with all the passion he could muster. His hands wrapped in her hair, holding her tightly to him. She let out a moan, her hands moving on their own to wrap around his neck.<br>They both gasped for breath as he pulled away to look into her eyes. "That's why."

She glared at him and he laughed lightly. "Tell me you don't want to be here Jo. Tell me you don't feel the same as I do, and I'll let you go." She started to respond, but he cut her off. "Wait."

She looked at him, confused, before his mouth was on hers again. He ran his tongue along her lower lip, begging entrance, and she couldn't deny him. They both moaned at the contact, fighting for dominance. He eventually pulled away with a sigh, leaning his head against hers. "Okay, now tell me." he said in a whisper. _Please Jo, don't fight me anymore._

She kept her eyes closed, still gasping for air. _I don't know what to do. _A voice in the back of her mind that sounded eerily like Zane told her to stop fighting it, to just let herself be happy. She tried to argue with it, but couldn't focus. The man below her that was the cause of her dilemma had forced her brain to shut down with that kiss. She had felt his passion, his emotions with that kiss, and it had scared her. She opened her eyes to find him watching her warily, waiting for an answer. _Just let go, _that voice whispered again. _Don't deny you care for him. _

When her eyes opened, he felt his breath catch. He tried to brace himself for her answer, knowing that she would tell him it was over, really over, and the thought upset him more than he was prepared for. He watched her carefully, trying not to show his fears too much. When she finally started to answer, he wasn't prepared for the words she spoke.

"I care about you, Zane. I tried so hard not to let myself feel this way, but I can't stop it."

"Really?" He replied, trying not to sound too hopeful. "Are you sure?"

"I'm scared," she admitted quietly. "I'm so scared, and I don't like that feeling. But I don't want to fight anymore, it's too hard."

"Good. I don't either. As much fun as you make an argument, I can think of better ways to spend our time," he said with a suggestive look.

She rolled her eyes, and shoved him back as she stood up. A moment later she was crying out in surprise as he lifted her up and dropped her on the bed. "Zane!" She yelled, trying to sit up only to be stopped by him.

Zane crawled across the bed and leaned over her. "You're not going anywhere, Lupo. Now that I've got you, I have no intention of letting you go." He grinned at the surprised look on her face before bending down to kiss her again.

"I hope not," she replied, trying to sound teasing, but couldn't keep the fear out of her voice.

"You're not getting rid of me Jo. You're stuck with me now."

She let out a happy sigh as he kissed her, wrapping her arms around him. "Ditto." She pulled him back for another heated kiss. _This is not the last time we'll do this. _The thought made her smile as she felt him return the kiss.

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><p><em>Well, there you go. Hope someone enjoyed my madness. Reviews and comments are always welcome!<em>


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